


remember to breathe

by patchworkangel



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, domestic fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 22:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20241658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchworkangel/pseuds/patchworkangel
Summary: Brian and Freddie get into a disagreement.or,Freddie wants something that Brian isn't so sure is a good idea. There are tears, and a bit of guilt.And perhaps above all, there is something the both of them should probably talk about.(spoiler alert: they don't)





	remember to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic? From me? Whut
> 
> Anyway, this is an interesting one, cause it started off as tumblr request fill, but didn't really fit the request, so I scrapped it and started a new one. 
> 
> However I still liked what I had written, so I decided to post it here.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it, and let me know what you think! 
> 
> XOXO

"I'm not saying no."

"...but you're not saying yes, either, are you?"

"I just..." Brian fidgeted from where he was sitting, arms around his husband. It was late, and their TV was currently paused on some wildlife documentary. Their cats were either off to mischief elsewhere, or in their cat beds - wholly unaware of the predicament their dad was going through at the moment.

Brian racked his brain for the best way to answer Freddie; coming up less than stellar every time.

"_Darling, please... be reasonable._"

Freddie's eyes immediately began to water, his bottom lip pushing into a pout. Brian instantly felt like the worst person to ever walk the earth at that very moment, making his husband cry over something so trivial.

_Except, it wasn't really a trivial thing, was it? It was a very important, and very serious thing. He had thought that that was obvious. That this was something Freddie would understand, but it seems he was greatly mistaken._

Freddie untangled himself from Brian's arms, moving to sit on the armchair furthest from his husband, pulling his knees up to his chin and sniffling.

"Just say what you mean, Brimi. Just say that you don't think I can handle any responsibility in our house."

Brian's expression dropped. "Love, you know that's not true..."

"_Then why won't you let me have this??_" He emphasized his point by slapping the armrests - then wincing right after, cradling his wrists to his chest.

Brian sighed, making his way over to his husband, kneeling beside him and gently taking his hands into his. He rubbed the sore skin in gentle circles, before kissing each wrist, one after the other. This was a far cry from how he expected them to spend their weekend.

And to think, things had started off so well, as well!

They had started of their weekend yesterday by spending the whole morning at their animal rescue sanctuary, helping to tend to a batch of rescued badgers that came in the night before. Freddie had gone and named all of them, despite Brian's gentle warnings that they would have to set them free eventually. Then later on in the afternoon, they had attended John and Roger's first grandchild's christening.

He had held Freddie's hand throughout the ceremony, watching the way John and Roger's eldest cradled the little babe, while their friends smiled just as proudly as they did during their first born's christening all those years ago.

It had truly been a wonderful start to a weekend.

But then, Freddie had come to him after dinner with his...request, and well.

This was where they ended up.

"Freddie..._love_. Are you really sure this is something you want? It's not just about the responsibility, babe, it's not. It's not about the amount of work you'll need to put in. It's just... it would be like nothing we're used to, either of us. I mean, just look at John and Roger. Remember when they got one and it was a constant struggle to keep up? Are you really sure you want that?"

Freddie snatched his hands away, angrily wiping at his tears. "_I_ just thought... _I thought it could be a good thing for us to do. Together, mind you!_ Before we... If ever we, you know. But if you don't want to - _if you don't trust me!_ \- then fine! We don't have to!" His husband stood up angrily, sidestepping Brian and stomping off to their bedroom.

A moment later the sound of a slamming door rang through their home.

Brian sighed, burying his face in his hands. _This was a mess._

* * *

Much later - or really just an hour or two - Brian tentatively knocked on their bedroom door.

"Fred? Love? Can you come out, please?"

No response. Brian knocked again. "_Freddie-poo...?_"

"Go away, Brian."

Brian felt his heart break a little. The way Freddie spoke sounded so small, so defeated. He truly never meant for things to get this bad, and it hurt him to admit that it was entirely his fault. _It was his fault that his husband was angry with him; it was his fault that his husband didn't want to talk to him._

When Freddie had come to him with the idea, to say he had been taken by surprise would be an understatement. He was... caught off guard.

So he had balked. And very badly at that.

He had tried to re-word his argument to make it as gentle as possible, but the damage had already been done. Freddie looked at him as if he had been blindsided, clearly having expected Brian to at least agree to a consideration.

_And truth be told, a part of him did want to reconsider, but at the same time..._

"Freddie, darling? Please..." He knocked the door again, hoping Freddie would be able to tell how broken up he was feeling over this. Because he was, he really, truly was. There was nothing he hated more in this world than making Freddie cry.

He knocked softly once again, hoping for a response. Any response.

A quiet sob came from the other side of the door.

Brian couldn't take it any longer, pushing the door open and entering their bedroom without another thought - except to comfort the love of his life. He found Freddie curled up on his side of the bed, back turned towards him. If Brian thought his heart couldn't break even further, he was certainly proved wrong.

"_Oh, love.._" he whispered, rushing to his lover's side. Freddie tried to move away, but Brian was quick, pulling him into his arms and close to his chest. He held on as tightly as he could, as if he could make everything right just by sheer will alone. Freddie squirmed for a moment, prying at Brian's fingers, before it seemed all fight left him, and all he could do was hold on to Brian's arms as he wept, soft whimpers leaving his lips.

Brian felt tears on his own cheeks, not even realising that he had also begun to cry. He buried his nose in Freddie's hair, murmuring apologies over and over again until he felt his throat become scratchy.

Freddie turned around in his hold, wrapping his arms around his husband, burrowing his face into a warm chest. He mumbled something into the fabric of his shirt, but Brian couldn't understand any of it.

"Love..."

"_I said, you're right, Brimi._" Freddie pulled away just slightly, sniffling, though he kept his eyes down. "_I said I'm angry, and I hate you, only because you're right._"

Brian felt his heart skip a beat, and not in the good way. "_Oh no, darling... No no, that's not what I meant...!-_"

"But it's the truth isn't it? I'm- We're... too old. Too old and too... oh, I don't know! I just know that..." Freddie took in a deep, raggedy breath, looking up and finally meeting his husband's red-rimmed eyes. "I just know, that it would be incredibly selfish of us, if we-..if we did get one... right? I mean, we wouldn't be very good at it or for it and..a-and... who was I kidding, I'm not made for it, anyway, am I? I never was..."

Brian bent down and pulled his husband into a deep kiss, silencing his runaway thoughts. He cupped his face with his large hands, feeling the way Freddie returned the kiss with a tremble in his skin. He gathered his husband's body closer, parting their lips and resting his forehead on Freddie's.

"_That's not... you're n-not... Oh, my love, if I had known you thought that way, I..._"

Freddie gently nudged Brian onto his back, curling up under his arm and laying his head on his chest. "It's okay, Brimi. I understand now. I'm sorry for pushing that onto you so suddenly. It's alright... I promise."

Brian pressed a kiss onto his hair, fresh tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. A part of him knew that this was a conversation they would need to revisit sometime later, but for now, he just wanted to hold on to the love of his life.

"You're wrong, Fred. You...you would have been amazing, my love. If... if we had been a little sooner, we would have been wonderful."

Freddie turned to look at him, soft smile on his tear-stained face. "Do you really think so, darling?"

Brian pushed a lock of graying hair behind Freddie's ear. "I know so, love."

Settling back into place, they both held on to other with a little bit more conviction; with a little bit more desperation. Though they would both deny it if ever asked, the truth remained that moments like these often reminded them of everything they had gone through in the past, just to be able to be together today.

_Everything they lost. Everything they gave up. Everything they thought they were okay with not being able to have anymore._

Brian reached over and shut their bedside lamp, enveloping their bedroom in darkness. Holding Freddie close, he closed his eyes and willed those thoughts away.

He had the love of his life in his arms right now. That should be enough.

* * *

Freddie awoke the next morning to an empty bed, late morning light filtering in through their curtains. He felt around Brian's side of the bed, and realized it was cold. So his husband was awake, he thought, and had let him sleep in.

He yawned, stretching his limbs. Pushing himself into a sitting position against the headboard, he took a moment to take in the morning hour. Outside their bedroom window, he could hear some birds twittering, singing songs of bird life or whatever birds sing about. The stillness and silence of their bedroom almost made it seem like they existed in separate worlds.

_They, a world of life and sunshine and birdsong; while he and this bedroom, in a world of quiet and solitude._

Freddie's musings were interrupted by a strange sound at their bedroom door. It sounded like... scratching.

Freddie frowned. Surely Brian didn't forget to feed the cats. And even if so, his babies were usually more polite than this - scratching at their door asking for attention. Usually they just meowed bloody murder until someone came to look at them. Freddie and Brian had taught them well.

Just as he was lifting the covers to get out of bed and checks, the bedroom door began to open, ever so slowly as if Brian was taking care to not wake him up. Freddie smiled fondly. What a remarkably lovely man.

"Brian, dear, I'm already up, you don't need to...-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the door opened wide enough and a streak of black and white bounded up to their bed.

Freddie gasped as the streak wagged its tail vigorously and jumped up and down on short, stubby legs. It barked excitedly at the sight of Freddie's surprised face.

_It was a puppy! It was a corgi puppy!_

Reaching over the bed to pick the little ball of energy up, Freddie was immediately assaulted with endless kisses and licks, the tiny ball of fluff sniffing everywhere, curious about this strange new world it was in right now. Freddie felt a joy like he'd never felt before, fill his entire being from his head to his toes. The little darling barked excitedly when Freddie rubbed it's tummy, kicking it's tiny legs out the way only corgis do.

Looking up, Freddie caught sight of his husband in the doorway of their bedroom, dressed in a heavy coat and leaning against the entrance. He was smiling indulgently, tears shining in his eyes. If Freddie thought he couldn't possibly be any happier, or love this man even more, he was certainly proven wrong.

He held out his hand, beckoning Brian to come join him.

With a nod, Brian discarded his heavy coat and scarf, then slipped into bed with his husband. The little darling bounded up to Brian now, kissing and licking his face to Freddie's utter delight. Brian bent his head down to press a kiss to the puppy's head, then watched as it bounded up to Freddie again, as if asking for a kiss from him too.

With an airy laugh, Freddie bent down and kissed the puppy's forehead as well. The little darling barked excitedly, tail wagging along.

Freddie leaned into Brian's side, feeling his husband press a kiss onto his own forehead.

"You didn't have to, you know."

"I know, love. I do._ But after last night, I..._"

He let Brian take his time, knowing his husband was trying to find the right words to say. It wouldn't have mattered either way. _He'd already forgiven him a hundred times over._

He felt Brian's hand join his that was idly petting their little darling, who had now draped itself over Freddie's lap, staring at their window.

"_I love you, Fred,_" Brian began, "_I love you, so so much_. And you're right, we are too old. Too old for many things..." Freddie watched as their matching wedding rings glinted side by side in the sunlight together, the way they were always meant to. It really had been a long journey to get to where they were now, and in some ways - _on some days_ \- Freddie still felt like they were only getting started.

Like they were a couple of excited youngsters, ready to face the future with the love of their lives beside them.

But the reality was that their youthfulness had long passed, and that no matter how young at heart they both were, their bodies simply were not. Which wasn't really an issue with Freddie; he was more than content to just be able to love, and be loved and cherished by the most beautiful man he's ever known - young or not.

Brian took his hand into his, fingers weaved together.

"_We are too old... but maybe not too old for this. We've been great parents so far to our feline children, and I believe we will be great parents for our precious... darling. And who knows, right? Whoever may come next, we'll be wonderful parents to them as well._"

Freddie felt tears prickle in his eyes, understanding the meaning behind Brian's words. He pulled his husband into a deep kiss, morning breath be damned. His truly was the luckiest person alive, to have someone as wonderful as Brian May as his husband, lover, and puppy father.

"_Thank you, Brimi. I love you so much._" Freddie whispered.

And someday.. _who knows_?

All he knew was that right now, in bed with their puppy child in his lap and his beautiful husband by his side, he had everything he ever wanted.

He was loved, and he was in love.

_It was enough._


End file.
